Take me away. A secret place, a sweet escape.

Loof left yesterday night. I'll write a proper post as soon as my sister gets off the Mac.

After reading this, any of the JalsPals who ask me (because I'd probably only tell them) may or may not be surprised if I were to ever tell them anything. I suppose my thoughts would not be shocking in general, but to those who figured they had me pegged as a very happy sort of person, you may be shocked.

I saw it on Adri's blog.
A tiny little picture at the bottom of her post. "Do you know me, friends?"

Adrienne, I would like to say I do, but I probably don't. Loofy, I probably don't know you, either.

Everyone has their secrets.


And there's no more lies
And darkness is light
And nobody cries
There's only butterflies


I wrote in the 'About Me' section of my blog that I don't think anyone knows me. You'd probably think I was a completely different person if I told you who I really was.
There's no point in anyone knowing me.
And lately it's been proven to me that there's really no point in anything I do. I guess I'm just not a very - seriously, what the hell is that word for expressing something well, or someone who expresses themself well, or something to do with expressing? Well, whatever it is, I'm not very good at expressing myself at all. I really don't tell many people what's going on. And I've become very stiff-upper-lip now.

Suddenly everything just smashed together. It's too much. I can't take it. It's making me really, really depressed.

And dudes, it couldn't have happened at a worse time.

I've only ever told one person this in my whole life, and now she's moved far away, "I'm always laughing. I laugh when I'm sad." But now I'm just so sad, so lifeless that I can't even laugh much anymore.

I bet none of you know. Nobody knows what's going through my mind. That's why I started this blog. But I've found that I don't even know how to express myself anymore.

I think I'm going crazy. I really do. My mind is filled all the time, yet it's empty. I feel claustrophobic in my mind. It's like I'm racing. Racing against nothing in my own mind. Trying to run. Trying to hide.

I'm constantly having mental blocks, yet at the same time thoughts are slashing and bashing around in my head. I feel like my brain is having a fit. Nothing's clear.

I feel like screaming. Shouting. Kicking. Tugging. Breaking loose. Just if I could find my way out of this all.

I just want to find a way out.

Take me away
A secret place
A sweet escape
Take me away
Take me away
To better days
Take me away
A hiding place